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Seriously, Tesla? When Will I Get My Tesla X? The Long, Long, LONG Wait.
It was a typical hot and sticky Miami August Sunday afternoon in 2013. Not wanting to stay home, my husband and I grabbed our four year old and decided to head over to Lincoln Road on South Beach for the day. Miamians know that there’s no better people watching than Lincoln Road on a Sunday. My husband says to me, “Besides, I haven’t had a chance to check out that Tesla showroom, and I want to see it.“
Tesla, the electronic car darling of Elon Musk. Tesla, the one taking the world by storm. Tesla, the one with the (in 2013) skyrocketing stock price.
We really weren’t in a car shopping mode. My trusty 2007 Escalade was serving us fine and my husband had his work car, his fancy red sports car, and the 2012 VW EOS we had leased for Amazing Step Daughter USC, was just sitting in the driveway since she was away at college. We had thought that maybe we would be moving on to a newer model Escalade, after all, those new hybrids seemed like they would make the weekly $92 gas tank fill ups at $4.25/gallon a little easier to swallow. But a new vehicle really wasn’t a priority for us.
So off we go to Lincoln Road. We have a nice lunch and stroll over to the Tesla showroom.
When you walk into a Tesla showroom, you notice that it’s very bright and shiny, but it’s small. Like half the width of the Apple Store two blocks down Lincoln Road. There’s two cars inside. There’s some cabinets along either side. That’s it.
I’m not really a car person. So we walk in and I’m like ok, cool, we saw the car. Can we go now?
And then my husband says, “You know they’re coming out with the SUV, do you want to check it out?” I look around. Again, I see 2 cars. I don’t see an SUV. He immediately sees my look of bewilderment and says, “It doesn’t exist yet, they’re taking deposits for pre-orders.” But ummm…ok. But why would I want to pre-order a car I can’t see or touch or even that exists? Why can’t we just go to Cadillac and go get a new Escalade? I love my Escalade. It’s big. It’s black. It means business. It drives ahh-maazing. I’m not feeling this non-existent Tesla Model X. Besides, what kind of an a**hole am I going to look like pulling up to the preschool drop off line with those crazy Back-to-The-Future/ Delorean/Batmobile – oops, sorry, I mean “Falcon Wing” doors?
“Want to go for a test drive with a Tesla S and see if you even like it?” I sense that the salesman is working his magic on my husband. “Yeah, yeah. Sure. Ok. Fine”
Behind the showroom, there’s two little offices for salespeople to show suckers potential customers like us the computer generated visuals of what the Tesla Model X will be. Yay.
They then arrange for our test drive, and we walk from the mini office to the alley behind the store where a pretty white Tesla Model S is waiting for us.
We get in. My husband gets in the drivers seat and I sit in the back with The Little Made Man. We drive to Pine Tree Drive (Yes, THAT Pine Tree Drive that Justin Bieber would get caught drag racing on in January 2014) and my husband starts fawning. “The iPad-like screen! How the car just hugs the road! Wow! Wow! Wow!” (My eyes are starting to roll out of their sockets. I know enough about my husband to know exactly where this is going. I see my future Escalade dreams driving farther and farther away in the distance)
“You have to drive it! You are going to love it!”
He pulls into the Tesla alley again. We switch seats. I get in the driver’s seat, and go. Driving a Tesla feels like nothing else I’ve ever driven.
I’m falling for it.
Damnit.
I think I want a Tesla Model X.
We get back to the little showroom office. The salesperson gives my son some Tesla crayons and paper. This is the beginning of The Wait. The long, long, long wait.
“Expect production for the first Tesla Model X’s to start by the end of 2013, and deliveries to start in 2014.”
The salesperson tells us, if we are interested, we can order our Tesla Model X, by putting down a $5,000 deposit. However, the Real Ballers (he didnt really say that, I’m just imagining that it was kinda implied) can put down a $40,000 (non-interest earning) deposit that guaranteesus to be among the first 500 in the nation to have our own Signature Series Tesla Model X. We have no idea what it will actually look like, since we are only going by prototypes we saw on the computer screen in the showroom office. But when that magic day comes, when our very own Tesla Model X is ready for us, we will have the opportunity to pick the color, the interiors, etc. once production actually starts. As a matter of fact, we don’t even know what the actual pricing will be set at, the salesperson tells us that it will likely be in the $100-120k range. Little do I know then, that we have just put ourselves on the longest VIP list ever.
We leave. We’re giddy. Excited. We are getting a Signature Series Tesla Model X! How cool are we?
Yeah.
On November 18th, 2014, we get this e-mail:
It’s now May, 2015. My 2007 Escalade is 8 years old with 91,000 miles and showing it. The DVD player stopped working a year ago. Neither key fob remote locks the doors and both are cracked so the little battery inside falls out, even when wrapped in scotch tape. The radio makes some god-awful sound when you first turn the truck on, but then it goes away after driving for about 5 minutes. The transmission just went out last week and that ran a nice $3400. The left side automatic mirror defaults to the sidewalk every time the car starts. There’s a crack in the front dashboard. The Escalade logo at the front of the car has faded, to the point where you really can’t see the red in it any longer. Maybe it’s a bit of a stretch, but, it almost feels like I’m driving my 1987 VW Jetta back in my college days, when I would have to roll down the passenger side window so my passenger could reach in and pull the interior door handle to open the door.
My poor Escalade keys. If scotch tape holding your key fob together doesn’t say “Mafia Boss,” I don’t know what does.
My son is now 5, soon to be 6 years old. My Step-Daughter is entering her 4th year of college. The lease on the VW was up last July and the car has been returned. Gas prices are down to $2.28. LeBron James is no longer with the Miami Heat. Much has changed since 2013, Mr. Musk.
According to the all mighty Internet, it’s rumored that the waitlist for the Tesla Model X is somewhere around 20,000 strong. But seriously, are all 20,000 Tesla Model X deposit holders as annoyed as me? Are other people holding off on new car purchases because they are anxiously awaiting the arrival of their Tesla Model X? I’m ready for a new car and I’m over it. Seriously, Tesla, when will I get my Tesla X? Make no mistake, I want my Tesla Model X, I do. But this wait, wait and wait some more purgatory has gotten really annoying. Look Tesla, I know you aren’t ready yet and production is now slated for late 3rd quarter 2015, but in the meantime, maybe you could at least send my son some new crayons? I found the other ones melted in the back seat of the Escalade back sometime around February 2014.
When Will I Get My Tesla X?
I like to believe that I’m in spot 428 of the VIP Tesla X production line of 500 and that I’m getting that call any day now that’s my Tesla Model X is on its way. But when I called customer service a few days ago, I learned that I’m actually customer number #606 (see the screenshot above) and yes, I AM guaranteed to be in the first group entitled to the July “configuration” date when I supposedly will get an email telling me it’s my time to pick the interior, exterior preferences of my particular vehicle, but I shouldn’t expect delivery until at least late September. Whatever. I’m not holding my breath. But don’t worry Tesla, I’m (still) here. Still waiting. “Sucker” bumper sticker in hand, ready and waiting.
*Photo credit screenshot from personal online Tesla account and email.
Yeah.
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