She’s my best mom friend and she’s moving.
I’m kinda crushed.
Mom friends are a different breed from your standard girlfriends. They’re also different from your friends that have kids. You know, your friends that you knew before they had kids. “Mom friends” are the ones you met singularly through your kids.
For example, like the mom you met because your kid is on the same baseball team. Or the mom you met because your kids are in the same class at school. As a mom, you meet tons of other moms on the daily, due to the kid-centric life that your world has now become. You meet them at the park, at karate lessons, at birthday parties. Strangely enough, it’s a bit like the dating world. Most of the ones you meet, bug the crap outta you. You avoid them at the next birthday party because you just have nothing in common. They’re nice and all…but, meh. There’s the too-perfect ones, there’s the too-granola ones, there’s the too-complaining-for-stupid-reason ones. But then, like, out of nowhere, there will be that diamond in the rough, that mom that totally asks for a glass of white wine at the exact same time you do in front of the hot dog cart at yet another unicorn-themed birthday party and your eyes meet. You smile. She smiles. She says, “Which one is yours?” You answer, “The one with the Star Wars shirt.” And she says, “Mine has a Star Wars shirt on too! May the Force Be With Us!” And you share a laugh together. And you toast your Pinot grigio glasses AND BOOM. It’s the beginning of your mom-friend friendship.
It starts off simple at first. You exchange numbers, you put parenthesis beside her name like: Lizzy (Tommy’s mom), you air kiss goodbye. You drive home a little giggly-ish, because you had this connection. (“Our kids both love Star Wars! Her shoes were SO cute!”) Then you see each other a 2nd time, and you both commiserate about how the room mom didn’t pick either of you for the winter holiday party decorations, but somehow you got president’s day and she got teacher appreciation week door decoration assignments. (“Ugh! Really? I swear she only gives the good holidays to the moms she likes!” You both exclaim in disgust) Bonus? Your kids actually like each other!
By the third time you meet, you know where each other grew up, how you each met your spouse, and all your kids’ allergies. She texts you to remind you field trip permission slips are due tomorrow, and you send her GIF’s of David Beckham taking his shirt on and off. You take a boxing class together after morning drop off. You both laugh about how sore the muscles you didn’t even know you had are.
You support her taking on the class winter holiday snow globe project, hot glue gun in hand. She waits with your kid after drum practice so he doesn’t have to get signed in to aftercare when you’re running 5 min late. You text her at 9pm looking for this week’s spelling words. She invites you to art class – sans kids – with wine.
She gets it and she gets you. She’s a dream. She’s a mom dream. And she’s your mom friend.
My very best mom friend just told me today that her husband is taking a new job – in New York. Their whole family is moving up north. The kids are excited about it. She’s a bit overwhelmed with all the moving parts that are going to have to happen in under 3 months. But if anyone can do it, it’s this one. She’s amazing. And she’s taken on mountains before, this is just another one to add to her scrapbook. Of course she’s amazing. I would never connect with someone who was anything less, would I?
And while so happy, I’m also at the same time so. very. sad. Who am I going to bitch about the carpool drop-off line to? Who is going to (non-judgementally) remind me about permission slips and early dismissal days? Who is going to drop off the kids at camp and then go get lunch with me at Hooters? (true story) Yes, I know there will be other mom friends in my future, of course there will be, but ahhh….(the way Sandy & Danny say it in that Summer Nights song from Grease.)
Hold on to your mom friends, ladies. Cherish the ones you have. The good ones are a special gift.
Carrie, I’m gonna miss you.
We’ll always have Hooters, my friend.